Weird To Think...

that if I hadn't miscarried last September I would of had the baby by now! My due date was May 5th and due to the size kids my family delivers we're usually always induced early so who knows what the actual due date would have been but regardless, I would of had the baby by now. I still love that little angel and think about it often but believe me, I know it was all in God's hands! He has now blessed us with a healthy little boy or girl that we will meet this coming September so I'm not sitting here sad, it's just weird to think about! =)

On another note...who knew preschool was so competitive?? I decided to sign Keaton up for preschool twice a week next year at our church and they're full! He's number 33 on the waiting list! CRAZY! Apparently people started talking about it Nov 08 and then registered in February!! If we had been here we would of had first dibs since we're church members, but since we weren't we are now number 33 on the list so it doesn't look like we'll be getting in! I don't really care though. I'm a firm believer in what's meant to be will happen so if we get a call that there's a spot for him then great and it's in Gods plan for him to start school. If we don't get a spot then he just wasn't meant to start immediately and we'll just see if something opens up throughout the school year or just start when he's 3 instead! It will work out! =)

19 Weeks 4 Days

The pregnancy is going great! I'm feeling the baby move daily now and I LOVE it!! Kyle still hasn't gotten to feel it yet because of course it stops whenever he has his hands on my belly but I know it will happen soon enough! He didn't get to feel Keaton until I was 21 weeks so we have about a week or two until then. I'll be 20 weeks, HALF WAY, this Sat!!! So exciting!

A Few Things

It's amazing how fast your pregnancy goes by when you're not pregnant anymore. I would already be in my second trimester and going into my 15th week!! It's still so unbelievable that it happened. When you get pregnant you know it's a possibility but you just don't think it will happen to you. I'm doing great really, it's not like I sit everyday and dwell on the fact that we miscarried but some days I can't help but wish that my belly was growing like it would have been if this didn't happen. I didn't mention this before but when we went in for the Saturday ultrasound when we saw the heartbeat, the doctor kept telling me that he didn't think I was as far along as I thought because the baby was so small. I felt positive about the situation since we had seen the heartbeat but I think that's when I knew something might be off because I knew the day we conceived and I was 8 weeks. He kept saying I was probably just 6. So I think what they say is true, when somethings wrong with the baby and it's not developing right, God comes in and nature takes it's course. It's funny to me that we weren't even trying to get pregnant and it was literally ONE oopsie and taa daa...we were pregnant! It made us realize, especially after we lost the baby, that we were ready for another one and wanted to start trying again. Then when you're trying and you have MANY :) "oopsie's" you get NOTHING!!! So weird! I guess it's just a reminder that we're not in control and when God wants to bless us with another baby he will.

As far as Mr. Keaton, he's doing great!! The other day I turned around to see him making quite a mess with the salt shaker! You can see it upside down on the TV tray and salt was all over him and the floor! Crazy kid!

We got more snow this week and he has snow boots now so we enjoyed playing in it! I shoveled snow for the first time in my life too! It was kinda fun but I bet it will get old REALLY fast!

We leave for Houston tomorrow so pray we have a safe trip! Taa, Taa!!!! =)

Thank You!

Well I figured I better post an update to let everyone know that we are doing SO much better! Thank you so much to everyone for all your emails, phone calls, thoughts and most importantly prayers! They definitely lifted us up and helped us pull through this! We are so blessed and thank God everyday for surrounding us with such amazing family and friends...THANK YOU!!!

I think the weekend and then Monday when we first found out were for sure the hardest days. Finding out was hard but it also brought some peace just knowing the truth and not wondering anymore! So after we knew what had happened we shed our tears but didn't have to really worry anymore. Each day after got easier and easier and I know it's because of all the prayers!

It's weird to go from being pregnant one week to not being the next. I used to wake up and think about what I was going to eat for breakfast that would be healthy for baby and not drinking the Crystal Light in the fridge because of artificial sweetener or not drinking alcohol. You get used to that routine and then I'd have to remind myself, oh yeah, I don't have to think about those things anymore. Then 2 days ago I received a package from Old Navy with some maternity clothes that I had ordered. Yeah I did sigh but I also smiled because I love them and I know I will get to wear them soon enough! See, I told you I was doing alot better! No tears!

How can I not feel blessed when I have Mr. Keaton with me everyday!! =) If anything, this experience has made me appreciate him even more if that were possible! He is just the joy of our life!

Dee Dee and Snow sent him the great Halloween shirt that lights up and he just loves it!

We also tried his Halloween costume on and he doesn't like it too much!

Get this off mom!!!!!

So embarrassing!

Oh well, what can you do! =) He'll be a headless (and probably claw less) dragon!

It's All In Gods Hands

This weekend was an emotional roller coaster for us. On Saturday morning I started to bleed and of course was scared to death. We went in for an ultrasound and saw the beautiful flicker of our babies heartbeat. We left feeling alot more positive about the situation and figured everything would be ok. Then after being home for about an hour I started bleeding more and it continued as the weekend went on. Our emotions were all over the place, from trying to just think positive and that everything was going to be fine, then to crying and crying and realizing that it probably wasn't. We went in again today for another ultrasound and sadly our little angel wasn't there anymore. We are just devastated but know that it's all in Gods hands and he knows what he's doing. Please keep us in your prayers right now.

My little one
You have left us too soon
Though my body can no longer hold you
I hold you forever in my heart
I love you!